


This Is Me Trying

by regardsfromhell



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: ABBA, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Communication, Elton John - Freeform, Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Romance, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, hyde listens to country music again because i said so, i write angst because of childhood trauma, season 8? i don't know her, the second half of season 7 happens differently
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regardsfromhell/pseuds/regardsfromhell
Summary: “Jackie?” She lifted her head a little and met the reflection of his eyes. “About what Fez said— that’s a load of crap, I don’t really think that our relationship is wrong.”Jackie smiled, “I don’t either.” She hugged herself closer to his arm.Canon divergent AU in which Jackie and Hyde actually make an effort to make their relationship work when they get back together in season 7.
Relationships: Jackie Burkhart/Steven Hyde
Comments: 29
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the rights to That 70's Show or to any of the characters.

“So, how do we move on from here?”

Fez scoffed. “There will be no moving on. Your relationship was one of the sickest freakiest things I’ve ever seen. You are two deeply disturbed individuals and your union, well— your union was a blasphemy.”

Hyde’s eyes darted around the basement as he shifted in his seat. “So, you’re saying that if we hooked up again, it would be even wronger than before?”

“It can get wronger?” Jackie asked incredulous. “Well that’s kinda hot.”

Hyde looked at Jackie and took off his sunglasses. “Fez I think you should leave the room now.” When he finished the sentence, he was already on top of the small brunette.

Fez threw his hands up in the air. “Oh— you two can’t be together, I’m leaving!” He paced towards the stairs and stopped on the first steps. “Who am I kidding? I can watch all night.”

Hyde pulled away from Jackie for a moment. “Fez, get out!” And he dove right back into Jackie’s lips, her hands wrapping around his back.

“Can I stay? Pretty please?” Fez tried to bargain with the reunited lovers, who didn’t even spare him a glance. Jackie threw a pillow at Fez. “Leave!” she shouted breathlessly.

“Ai, you Americans never let Fez have any fun!” He balled his fists like a toddler throwing a tantrum and stomped his way up the stairs.

Fez’s footsteps became more and more distant, until the basement became quiet, the silence only being occasionally disrupted by sharp breaths and small moans. Jackie pulled away for air, “Is Fez gone?”

Hyde looked around the room, nodded and found Jackie’s lips again. She gasped and put her hands on his chest, creating some space between them. “No, Steven, we need to talk or we’re never going to fix this,” her hand moving back and forth in the space empty between them.

“C’mon Jackie, you know I’m no good at that,” Jackie sat upright and shot him a glare.

“Can we please just try? I really do want to be with you, Steven.” She took one of his hand between hers and held it close to her chest.

“Me too, doll,” He used his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He kept talking, “So what else is there to say?”

Jackie’s eyes widened, “We can’t just keep moving forward pretending that nothing’s happened, we’ve already tried that and it didn’t work!” She let go of his hand and instead wrapped her arms around herself.

Hyde’s hand suddenly felt cold when she let go of it. “What do you want me to do, man? I don’t have a clue” his shoulders tensed.

“Well, you said that our future will be crap, so let’s talk about that,” She raised her eyebrow and looked into Hyde’s blue eyes. “Why do you even want to be with me if you think that?”

Hyde put his hand on her knee and held her stare, “You know why, Jackie.”

Jackie scoffed. “Ha! I don’t actually know why, and you won’t tell me!” She was finally standing up for herself and demanding answers, she’d never felt braver.

Hyde looked away and pulled back, Jackie was breaching into his zen and he needed a layer of protection. He reached behind his back and grabbed his sunglasses. “Please don’t put them on,” Jackie put her hands over his and looked at him with pleading eyes.

Hyde looked at her and gave in, putting his sunglasses on the spool table, her hands were still over his. “Jackie, you know of I feel about you,” His thumb was grazing her skin, setting it ablaze.

“Can you just say it, please? I need to hear you say it, not just think it,” Her voice was small and Jackie was leaning in closer to him, hoping to catch those three words the minute they left his lips.

“I’ve already said those three words to you, why do they matter so much?” He moved his hands to cup her cheeks, but she pulled away, buried her face in her hands and started shaking. “Jackie are you crying?”

She let out a sharp laugh and leaned backwards. “Oh, I am such an idiot!” Her laughter was interrupted by hiccups. “Why do even keep trying? You’re never going to tell me you love and you’re never going to commit to me and that’s just the way things are.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, Hyde’s lips were pressed together in a frown.

Jackie refused to sit in silence, “You told me you loved me only once, and even that was right after you cheated on me with that skank nurse! You don’t cheat on people you love, but you found the words then, didn’t you?” She shook her head, there were too many tears to wipe away, she just let them flow.

Hyde got closer to Jackie and cupped her chin, “Jackie please look at me.” Her eyes were bright and shiny with tears, he’d made her cry again and he wanted to kick himself for it. “I would never have said it if I didn’t mean it.”

Jackie started laughing again, her face slipping away from Hyde’s grasp. “So what’s the problem, Steven? If you said it now, you wouldn’t mean it?” Tears were still falling freely down her eyes, but her expression had changed, she was challenging him, she was angry.

“I’m not going to fucking mean it if you blackmail me into saying it, Jackie!” She was startled, he didn’t realize he was shouting until he was done speaking. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was—” He looked at his hands and fiddled with his watch.

Jackie put her hands on his knees and searched for his eyes. She took a breath and she spoke softly, “Steven, I am not blackmailing you, I just want my boyfriend to reassure me and to hear him say that he loves me. Is that unreasonable?” Jackie is met with a deadly silence. “I just want to know that I’m not replaceable, I’ve always felt like that and I just can’t take it anymore.” She was crying again.

Hyde reached over to wipe away her tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, Jackie. I keep making mistakes and I keep hurting you, and I fucking hate myself for it.”

She looked at him gave him a small smile, “I don’t, I love you despite my best judgment, and that is why I hate myself.” Her voice became smaller, almost inaudible. “But I shouldn’t have to hate myself for loving you.”

Her eyes were clouded with tears, but they were still fixed on him, hurt yet hopeful. “Jackie—” He took a sharp breath. “I’m bad at expressing my feelings, but I have never felt this way about anyone else. I love you, Jackie Burkhart— and I’m gonna say it every day if that’s what it’ll take to see you smile.”

Jackie buried her face in his chest and broke down crying. Hyde wrapped his hands around her and held her tight as if he was holding onto her for dear life, drawing small circles on her back with his fingers. His eyes were misty as well, he would’ve gladly worn his sunglasses right then, but there was no point hiding his emotions, that’s what had gotten them in trouble in the first place.

Jackie’s face reemerged from Hyde’s chest, still sniffling. “So my boyfriend does love me, he’s just emotionally repressed,” She affirmed, he was still holding her in his arms and she gave him a small smile. “I can deal with that.” She laid her head on his shoulder.

Hyde caressed her hair and smirked. “I’m your boyfriend?” She nodded and he kissed her temple, “I’m a lucky guy.”

“The luckiest,” she agreed and hugged him. They stayed there, holding each other. Fearing that if they let go, it might all come crumbling down.

***

The front door slammed shut and they woke up, Red’s low grumble and Kitty’s laugh alerted them that the Formans had come home and that they’d fallen asleep cuddling on the couch. “What time is it?” Jackie yawned and looked at his watch over her shoulder—11:34 PM.

“Shoot! It’s late, I have to go home,” She kissed his cheek and got up.

He took one of her writs in his hand, “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”

“Thank you, Steven” She flashed him a smile. “Do my eyes look puffy?” She stood on her tippy toes to give him a better view.

He chuckled, “You look like you had fun with my stash.” Jackie playfully hit his chest and he smiled at her, “Here, wear these” He took his sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose. He looked at her wordlessly. “You look hot,” He whispered.

“I always do, Steven” She teased him, smiling and posing like a model on the cover of Cosmo.

“Yeah, you’re right,” He nodded and he leaned in, kissing her softly, his hands on the small of her back.

She pulled away slightly from the kiss, his warm breath still on her lips. “How do you even see anything with these at night?”

He let out a small laugh, “You get used to ‘em.” He patted his pockets and took the keys to the El Camino, “Let’s go.” He draped one arm around her shoulder and walked her to his car.

The drive was quiet, Hyde let Jackie pick the music, _Your Song_ by Elton John was playing from the car’s speakers. She was leaning her head on Hyde’s shoulder, her arm was hooked around his, her fingers were tapping along to the music and she was fighting off yawns.

Hyde looked at her in the rearview mirror. Despite all their issues, he did love moments like these and he wanted as many of them as he could get, he just had to not fuck everything up again.

“Jackie?” She lifted her head a little and met the reflection of his eyes. “About what Fez said— that’s a load of crap, I don’t really think that our relationship is wrong.”

Jackie smiled, “I don’t either.” She hugged herself closer to his arm.

“And I didn’t make a move on you just to piss Kelso off.” Hyde’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“I know,” She said softly and kissed his cheek.

They sat in silence until he pulled into her driveway, the house was engulfed in complete darkness. “You’re home alone?”

Jackie sat upright, “Yeah, my mother is on holiday in Tuscany, a tour of all the best vineyards. Pretty much a booze tour.” She grinned at him and she took off his sunglasses, hooking them onto his shirt.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be alright on your own? Kitty and Red won’t mind you sleeping over and I can take the couch.” He looked at the big empty mansion and scratched his neck.

Jackie dropped a kiss on Hyde’s lips. “Thank you, Steven, but I’ll be fine,” She smiled and kissed him again, this time more intensely. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” and just like that she got out of the car and Hyde was left alone, watching his girl walking to the front door and waving at him before going inside.

***

Jackie found her way around the big empty hallways of her house, ignoring the darkness and heading straight to her bedroom. She turned on the light and the overwhelming amount of pink in the room made her feel at home. She looked at herself in the mirror and she started removing the pins and the elastics in her hair, her complexion was paler than usual and her eyes still had a pinkish hue.

She took her makeup off and applied her moisturizer, hoping it would hydrate the salty trails left behind by her tears. She sat on her bed with her pajamas on, ready for the day to end. On her bedside table a framed picture of her and Steven was still lying face down, the one Kitty took of them on the stairs on the first thanksgiving they spent together as a couple.

She placed the frame upright again, next to her strawberry scented candle, hoping that this would be the last time she’d have to hide it from her sight. Jackie’s head hit the pillow and a thought crossed her mind. She wished she’d gotten a picture with Steven’s sunglasses on— maybe with Steven too, she doesn’t have any pictures in which his eyes are visible.

She put on her earplugs and she let herself be lulled to sleep by the latest ABBA record, the lyrics to the first track barely audible.

_As good as new, my love for you_

_And keeping it that way is my intention_

***

Alone in his car at night, Hyde’s mind was filled with intrusive thoughts. The guilt was eating away at him, he always knew just the wrong thing to say that would make Jackie cry, he didn’t even have to try. Why the fuck did he shout at her? Red was right, he really was a dumbass.

He needed to treat her better this time around, he’d gotten lucky enough to get another chance with her and he couldn’t blow it. The weeks they spent apart were miserable, he was starting to become like Bud, just sitting on his ass, drinking beer and acting like an asshole. Fuck that. He would rather indulge Jackie’s girly crap every day for the rest of his life, than to become anything like Bud.

Hyde parked in front of the Formans’ home, he didn’t realize just how tense his shoulders were until he took his hands off the steering wheel. He was about to turn off the radio when he noticed he’d somehow ended up listening to the country station.

_There’s a girl with a heart as big as the sky, she’s sunshine and I know why_

_All for the love of sunshine, all for the love of sunshine_

_The Lord smiled down on this life of mine and sent me the love of sunshine_

Hyde took the keys out of the ignition, looked at the empty seat next to him and sighed. He understood country music.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the rights to That '70s Show or to any of the characters.

“How are things with you and Jackie, _loverboy_?” Asked Donna mockingly as she sat down on the couch making kissy sound.

“Don’t you have anything else going on today?” Hyde kept mindlessly flipping the pages of an old Rolling Stones he’d found that morning on the floor.

“Not really, there’s nothing on TV and I haven’t seen Eric yet.” Donna grabbed the tv guide and gave it a quick look, “Yep, just Happy Days reruns and daytime television.” She looked at her friend and raised an eyebrow, “So, what’s up with you and Jackie? Fez didn’t look happy the other day.”

Hyde put down his magazine, “We’re fine, and Fez is only pissed off because we didn’t let him watch.” Hyde got up and took a popsicle out of the freezer.

“Ugh, that perv!” Her face scrunched up in disgust and the door to the basement blew open.

“Stop it, Fez! I am not going to write you a detailed description of what Steven and I do in private!” Jackie entered the room, followed by a visibly upset Fez.

“Jackie, please— I have needs!” Fez lamented while he closed the door behind him.

Jackie turned swiftly towards her foreign friends and pointed a finger at him, “I told you to stop! Just ask Mrs. Forman if you can borrow one of her erotic novels!” She let her arms fall at her sides.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want that book back after giving it to Fez.” Hyde scoffed and she noticed him leaning against the freezer. She headed straight towards her boyfriend.

“Hi,” she said shyly, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a peck.

“Hello,” Hyde smiled and his hands found their rightful place in the small of her back.

“Are you doing this on purpose? Do you like to see Fez hurt?” Their friend lamented as he sat on the couch, still pouting.

“Aw, come on Fez, they can’t help it because they’re in _loove_!” Donna started making fun of them again.

“They certainly don’t love Fez!” He crossed his arms and slumped down in his seat.

“Fez, shouldn’t you be looking deeply into Kelso’s eyes right about now?” Hyde snickered as Jackie sat on the freezer next to him, one of his arms loosely holding her waist.

“I would, but he’s not here yet.” Fez slumped further down the couch.

“There, there buddy.” Donna patted Fez’s shoulder, “Didn’t you hide some candy down here the other day?”

“You’re right!” Fez got up and started moving the furniture around to find his candy stash.

Some hurried feet came down the stairs, “Steven? Jackie? Red and I are waiting for you upstairs.” Kitty’s high-pitched voice echoed in the basement and she ran back upstairs.

“We’ll be right there, Mrs. Forman.” Jackie slid off the freezer and took Hyde’s hand.

“Where are you two going?” Donna raised an inquisitive eyebrow at them.

“Steven and I are going to a car show with Mr. and Mrs. Forman,” Jackie announced, she intertwined her fingers with Steven’s and they both headed upstairs.

***

Jackie and Steven were sitting close together, because they wanted to— and also because the cramped backseat of Red’s Toyota Corolla didn’t leave them a choice. Jackie was looking out the window, holding Hyde’s hand between hers and drawing small circles on his wrist.

Kitty insisted that she should pick the music and Red gave in, focusing instead on the road ahead. Kitty fidgeted with the knob, trying to find a satisfactory station.

“Oh, I love this song!” Kitty exclaimed and she started singing along and dancing to the music in the passenger’s seat, her hair bouncing in every direction.

_Ah Honey, ah honey honey_

_You are my candy girl_

_And you got me wanting you_

“Isn’t it lovely? Such wholesome sentiments,” Of course Kitty liked the song from the Archie comics, Hyde gave her an awkward tight-lipped smile and nodded.

“You know, Steven, when you were younger I used to think that you were such a Jughead!” She turned towards him and laughed. “Then you and Jackie got together and that was not something Jughead would do,” She kept laughing.

Jackie turned towards Kitty as soon and she heard her name. “I’m just so happy that you kids are back together,” She flashed them a wide smile and pinched an imaginary cheek in the air.

“That is so sweet Mrs. Forman!” Jackie said warmly and she put her head on Hyde’s shoulder, who was looking down, not knowing how to respond to Kitty. “See, someone is happy for us,” She nudged him playfully.

“I think Donna is happy too, it’s just that making fun of us make her even happier” Steven met his girlfriend’s big bright eyes.

“Yes— but is she making fun of us, or is she just telling the truth in weird tone of voice?” Jackie smiled smugly and put one hand on his chest.

“Yeah, you’re right,” He let out a chuckle, his gaze still fixed on her.

A flash shook them out of their trance, “You two are just adorable!” Kitty looked at them with the loving eyes of a mother. “See, Red, this is why I always carry a camera— you just never know!”

Red looked at his wife briefly and nodded halfheartedly in agreement. “I’ll print you a copy when I develop the film,” Kitty informed the two teenagers in the backseat and she turned back towards the road, humming along to whatever song was on the radio then.

Jackie looked at Hyde and smiled, she already knew was going to get the picture framed.

***

Hyde and Jackie awkwardly looked away while Kitty was busy yelling at Red. When she turned to them and barked to get in the car, they quietly followed her orders. The ride back home seemed to never end, every few minutes Red would try speak and Kitty would shush him without giving him a glance.

“This reminds me of my childhood,” Hyde whispered into Jackie’s ear with a smile.

“Steven!” Jackie reprimanded him and lightly slapped his chest.

Kitty glared at them through the rearview mirror, daring them to keep talking. The threat of Kitty’s wrath brought quiet back in the car.

The sun was starting to set when Red took the exit for Point Place, “Jackie, do you want me to drop you off at your house?”

“Yes, thank you Mr. Forman,” She chimed from the backseat.

A few minutes later they were in front of Jackie’s house, she had her coat on and she was just about ready to jump out of the car. “I’ll get off here too,” Hyde patted Red’s shoulder, “Good luck, man.” He followed Jackie as she left the vehicle and they waved goodbye.

“I didn’t know I was going to have guests over,” Jackie turned to Steven with a mischievous grin.

“Yeah, I’d rather be as far away from Kitty as possible when she blows up again.”

“Huh huh,” she nodded as she got closer to him.

“What?”

“You wanted to spend more time with me,” She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him.

“Yeah, that too”

“Because I’m your chick,” She sang, her cheeks flushed.

“Because you’re my chick,” He cupped her cheeks and he kissed her softly, smiling on her lips.

Jackie deepened the kiss and he followed her lead; one of his hands was tangled in her hair while the other one travelled down her back and stopped on her backside. His mouth left her lips and started leaving a trail of kisses on her jawline and on her neck, she let out a moan and froze.

“A neighbor is watching us,” She mumbled, looking straight ahead at a disgruntled older lady who was standing on the sidewalk with her dog.

Hyde didn’t even bother to look up, focused instead on kissing her throat. “Let them watch.”

Jackie rolled her eyes, “Come on, Steven,” and she dragged him inside the house, a dazed smile still plastered on his face.

The house was just as hollow as it had always been, Jackie slipped out of her coat and rushed to the kitchen. “I’m starving! My stomach was gurgling in the car and I thought that Mrs. Forman was going to yell at me,” Hyde followed the sound of Jackie’s complaints through the maze of hallways.

Hyde leaned against the counter, while Jackie opened each and every cupboard looking for food. He let out a chuckle and she snapped towards him, “Don’t laugh at me, Steven— I’m too beautiful to starve!”

“Alright, I’ll make you something,” He gave in and looked inside the fridge.

“Really? Oh, thank god!” She kissed his cheek and sat on the counter.

“Yeah, but only because I don’t want you to resort to cannibalism.” He snorted.

“I would never! Human meat is too fatty,” She shook her head.

“Jackie, why do you keep uncooked pasta in the fridge?” He inquired, taking the sealed box out of the ice box.

“Is that not where you keep it?” She raised a questioning eyebrow before she started grinning. “Are you making me pasta?”

“It’s not like there anything else edible here, it’s either that or gummy vitamins.” He started looking for a pot in the open cupboards, “But I’m making it the way I like it, _al dente_.”

“Keep talking Italian, Steven,” Jackie slid off the counter to nuzzle her face in the crook of his shoulder.

“Um, fettuccine alfredo,” She put her hand under his t-shirt and started kissing the nape of his neck. “Mozzarella, prosecco…” He hesitated for a moment while her lips kept traveling on his skin. “I don’t know, Mussolini? I’m kinda running out of Italian words here.”

Jackie stopped kissing him, “Gross, Mussolini was ugly.”

Hyde chuckled and he put the pasta in the boiling pot of water. “Alright, what about Rodolfo Valentino?”

“Much better,” Her lips were finally on his.

***

Jackie cleared the table and put the dishes in the sink. “Steven the pasta was great, thank you for feeding me.” She dropped a kiss on his cheek and sat on his lap.

“Any time, doll,” He draped his arms around her waist.

“I had fun today, we should go to car shows more often.”

Hyde raised his eyebrows, “We were there for less than an hour.”

“So? I still had fun— and you didn’t even get any of the stuff you wanted to get for the El Camino,”

“You don’t have to convince me to go to another car show, I’m just surprised that you didn’t hate it.”

“I don’t hate plenty of things, Steven, especially when we do them together.” Jackie clasped her hands behind his neck, “Plus, I want to see if people will think I’m one of those models that stand next to the hottest new cars.” She was quiet for a moment and then she squealed in excitement. “I could wear all black to match with the El Camino, I could even get a leather jacket!”

Hyde held her closer, “This outfit sounds interesting, I’d like to see it on,” he paused for a second, “And then off.”

“We can arrange that.” She stood up with a smirk. “Let’s go upstairs.”

She held out her hands and he took it, the two of them hurrying up the stairs. She pushed him on her bed and put a record.

“Please, anything but ABBA,” he took off his glasses and put them on her bedside table.

“Don’t worry, it’s Peter Frampton,” she showed him the record’s sleeve and the music started playing.

_I’m keeping my eyes on you, baby_

_Sticking to me like glue_

_I got my eyes on you, yeah_

_While you do what you have to do_

Jackie walked over to Hyde, put her hands on his knees and dropped a kiss on his lips. “Are you ready?” She whispered and he nodded. “Great!” She squealed and ran towards her wardrobe, opening drawers and thumbing through her clothes. “Is this top badass enough?”

“Wait, this is what we’re doing?” He looked at her in disbelief.

“Hey— If you want to take my clothes off, then you’re going to have to help me pick out an outfit!” She asserted with a hand on her hip.

“Fine,” he groaned, “Wear those black disco pants that you bought after we watched Grease.” He offered with a shrug, “They’ll be more fun to take off.”

“Great idea, Steven!” She dug in her closet until she found them and held them up like a flag. “I’ll be right back,” she kissed him and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Hyde alone with Peter Frampton.

A few minutes felt like an hour to Hyde. Jackie left the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, “Hello, stud.” A different song was playing on the stereo.

_‘Cause all I need is all night long_

_It would only take me all night long_

_To show you how I feel all night long_

Jackie walked over to Hyde and straddled him, “So, what didn’t you want to do?” She asked with a sultry smile, her mouth hovering over his.

“I can think of a couple of things,” He smirked and dove right into her lips.

Their mouths moved in unison as if they were singing a song only, they knew. Her fingers were lost in his curls, his arms were holding her tight. Neither one of them could think of a better way to spend the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to see you down here again, thank you for reading this chapter!  
> I decided not to rewrite the scenes from the show, and to just hint at them instead, because the simple act of transcribing kills my motivation instantly. I will only write scenes from the show if I want them to happen differently, I hope it's alright.  
> I want to thank you for the support I've received thus far, your comments are always appreciated!  
> If you want to talk to me, you can find me on tumblr (@jackiesimp) and on twitter (@fruityidiot).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the rights to That '70s Show or to any of the characters.

When Kelso asked Jackie and Hyde to be Betsy’s godparents, they weren’t expecting the baptism to take place at the end of that same week. They thought it was just a silly title, that it maybe meant that they would have to babysit Betsy every once in a while. Instead they woke up early on a Sunday to go to mass and watch a pastor splash some water on a baby.

Hyde woke up unusually early, the Formans were still having breakfast when he left the house, the pastor wanted to meet the godparents before the ceremony, so they agreed they’d be at the church a couple of hours before everyone else.

Jackie was waiting for Hyde out in the garden, she looked like a painting. She was basking in the warm sun of May, the skirt of her light pink silk dress flowed with the early morning breeze and her bare shoulders were covered by a white shawl. She was a sight to behold, but Hyde could only contemplate the scene for a brief moment before the rumble of the El Camino alerted her of his presence and she climbed inside the car.

“Good morning, Steven,” She planted a kiss on his cheek.

He backed out of the driveway and he started driving to Chicago. His driving was distracted, he kept stealing glances at her and smirking. “Fuck, you look beautiful,” he let out in a low whisper.

“Thank you,” Jackie looked him up and down, “You look foxy too, though I’m not sure wearing all black at a baptism is very wise, you’re going to scare the poor thing.”

“Who? Betsy?” Hyde scoffed.

“No, the pastor!” She kicked her feet up on the dashboard, her skirt riding up and showing more of her legs.

“I’ll scare him and you’ll give him a hard-on, he’ll die a happy man.”

Jackie lightly slapped his chest, “And for that, I get to pick the music.” She opened the glove compartment and started going through Steven’s tapes, trying to find the ones she’d left there. “Oh, this one’s great!” With one swift motion, she slid the tape in the 8-track player and _Waterloo_ by ABBA started playing.

Hyde groaned, “Between ABBA and church, today is going to be hell.”

“Don’t say that, Steven, today is gonna be great— just remember why you’re doing this.”

“Because you were excited about it.”

“Ow, you’re doing this for me?” She put her hands on his arms, her big bright eyes pointed at him.

“Yeah, and to burn Forman and Donna.”

“Whatever you say, puddin’ pop,” She planted a kiss of his cheek.

“All organized religions are a sham, man. They’re created by the government so they can control all aspects of your life, it’s all manipulation, religion has started a whole bunch of wars and now they’ve just gotten better at hiding their crimes.” Hyde kept going on and on.

Over the years, Jackie had learned to just let him rant whenever he started. She always listened to what he said, but he rarely said anything he hadn’t said before. He went on his tirade against organized religions every time Kitty tried to take him to church, they’d sit in his room and he’d talk her ear off while she played with his curls. And Steven thought that she was the loud one.

“Do you really think that priests keep their mouth shut after you’ve told them all your secrets? No, they write that shit down so that the government can use it for blackmail. It’s a criminal organization, man!” Hyde stopped talking and looked briefly at her, waiting for a reply.

“Yeah,” she said and then sat up straight in her chair, hit by a sudden revelation. “You’re right, I took European history this semester and I read that the king’s clergymen used the information they got during confession to uphold the power of the Papal States.”

“You’re really studying hard for your finals, huh?”

She nodded, “My head is full of knowledge, I also read that there’s this car that run on water.” She tried to keep a straight face and failed.

“You’re laughing know, but in fifty years the masses will know the truth, man.”

“Mh-mh,” She put her head on his shoulder and Hyde kept telling her about his conspiracies. The road ahead of them was still long, Hyde had a lot of time to go over all his theories again.

***

Outside the church Jackie and Hyde were greeted by Brooke and a fussy Betsy, “Michael is already inside, you guys go ahead, I’ll be there as soon as she goes down for her nap.” She smiled warmly at them and they went inside.

Hyde opened the door for Jackie and she scrunched her nose, “Couldn’t they crack open a window? The smell of incense is going to stick to my dress.”

“They want you to smell like church, it’s their way of marking you, man,” He went in after her, the both of them walking down the dusty aisle, a loud laugh broke the silence in the building and they made their way towards it.

“Oh, man this place is great,” Kelso snorted while he stuffed his face with wafers, “Hyde you were so wrong, churches are cool! They have food, booze and a pool! I even think they’re having a wet t-shirt contest later, it’s the best!”

Hyde frogged him and stole a wafer from him, “That’s not how they do baptisms, they’re going to waterboard your baby and claim ownership over her soul.”

Kelso went quiet and looked at Jackie, “Is that true?”

She scoffed, “No! They’re just going to get her head wet, and you and Brooke didn’t even bother to style her hair, so she’ll be fine.”

“Phew, I was starting to get worried. But are you sure that there’s no contest happenin’? Cause that dress would look great wet!” He winked at Jackie “Ow!” Hyde frogged him again.

“Where’s the priest? I gotta ask him if we can have you exorcised after the baptism.”

“Man, don’t joke about that, you know how scared I was after I watched that movie,” Kelso’s grin turned into a frown.

“Enough you two. Michael, the pastor wanted to talk to us before the ceremony, so will you please find him?”

“Fine,” He pouted and dragged his feet away from the bench where he was sitting. Jackie and Hyde sat down in his place, his arm was draped over her shoulders and they quietly munched on the wafers Kelso left behind.

Brooke entered the church with Betsy sound asleep in her stroller and she sat next to them, she signaled to be quiet and they sat in silence, only occasionally sharing awkward glances.

Michael finally made his way back followed by the middle-aged minister and the three stood up, though Hyde hesitated and Jackie had to yank him upright.

“These are the godparents I told you about, they’re totally cool— guys this is Pastor William.”

“I’m Jackie Burkhart and this is Steven Hyde,” Jackie held out her hand and the minister shook it.

“Very well, follow me to my office so we can talk about your new responsibilities.”

Jackie took Hyde’s arm and followed the man to his office, where they sat down and he gave them a stern look.

“So, you two are embarking on a journey that will last you whole lives, it is now your duty to offer spiritual guidance to baby Elizabeth, do you know what that means?”

Hyde spoke up first, “Yeah, I gotta introduce her to Led Zeppelin.” Jackie hit his chest.

“No, Steven, it means that we have to teach her about life, like we have to tell her that Michael is a moron and that she should never go to him for advice.”

Pastor William cleared his throat, “Yes, I guess that could be a valid example, but I meant something bigger, more important. You have to make sure that her soul is safe, that she makes godly choices. Are you two living in sin?”

“Yeah,” Hyde snorted and Jackie slapped his chest again, “But no, we’re not living together.”

“Okay, well, you just have to make sure that Elizabeth doesn’t stray from the path that God has forged for her.” The minister looked down at his hands, “Well, if you don’t have any more question, I would like to be left alone, I need to pray for this child’s soul.”

“You got it,” Hyde got up quickly and made his way to the door.

Jackie gave the pastor two thumbs up and flashed a big smile, Steven looped an arm around her waist and dragged her out of the office.

He shut the door and she turned around in his arm, “Did you really have to say all that in the house of God?”

Hyde smirked, “I couldn’t lie to the man, and I think it’s great that we’re living in sin.”

She rolled her eyes and he kissed her, deeply and hungrily. Jackie’s back was against the door and she returned the kiss, his hands on her hips and hers were gripping the nape of his neck.

The prayer coming from the office got louder as their breaths became sharper.

***

After the mass everyone was invited to celebrate the baptism in the church’s basement. Kitty was busy chatting up Pastor William and complimenting his choice of sermon. Kelso walked by and patted the man’s shoulder, “That service kicked ass!” he swallowed a pixie stick and he moved along, leaving a disappointed look on the pastor’s face.

Hyde, Eric and Fez were leaning against the wall, looking at everyone else while they wrestled to reach the refreshment table. “Kelso is only one pixie stick away from a sugar high,” Eric assessed.

“Fez do you have any more candy?” Hyde looked at their foreign friend, who nodded hesitantly. “Go give it to him, man.”

Fez took off and Eric chimed in, “It’s his daughter’s baptism, should we really be messing with him?”

“It’s Kelso, he’s going to do something stupid anyway, we’re just speeding up the inevitable.”

Eric nodded and the two went back to drinking their sodas in silence.

“Where’s Fez?” Donna arrived with a plate full of cookies and offered some to the guys, who stayed quiet and just looked in the distance. “What did you do?” No one replied. “Eric, tell me right now.”

“We might or might not be facilitating Kelso’s sugar high.”

Donna raised an eyebrow, “That’s it?” She chuckled, “You guys have gotten lamer with age.” Then a shriek rose above the monotone chatter in the hall, followed by a deafening silence. The gang shared knowing glances.

“Michael!” Brooke scolded the culprit, she handed Betsy to Jackie and dragged Michael away.

Fez returned to his friends with a sheepish look. “He took my whole bag of candy, he didn’t even say thank you.”

Hyde patted his back, “Don’t worry buddy, we’ll get you a pound of jelly beans when we get back.”

Jackie walked over with a panicked expression on her face and a baby in her arms.

“Look at the new godmother, already on duty!” Donna chuckled and Jackie rolled her eyes.

“Donna this is not the time, I’m afraid this child is a ticking time-bomb of bodily fluids.”

“Then you should definitely bounce her, seeing her puke on your shoulder would be the best part of my day.” Eric suggested, and Jackie glared at him.

“Do you see this? She’s pulling my hair!” She held her at arm’s length, “She clearly has a personal vendetta against beauty!”

“C’mon, hand her over,” Hyde took the baby from Jackie.

“Thank you, Steven,” She took a step a back and she looked at him holding the baby, her face softened.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He warned and Jackie started smiling from ear to ear.

Donna was looking at him too, “Aw, you two are cute!” Jackie nodded in agreement and she walked over so she was standing next to Steven.

“It’s the unholy family: Satan, Judas and their bastard godchild.” Eric snickered and Donna frogged him.

Jackie paid him no mind and kissed Hyde’s cheek, “I’ll get you something to eat,” She took Donna’s hand and dragged her to the crowded buffet table.

Eric was still nursing his arm back to health, “What was that for?”

“Man, you still have so much to learn.” Hyde retorted and Eric gave him a puzzled look. “Yeah man, chicks dig guys with babies, they can’t help themselves.”

“In my experience, babies only spoil the fun for the grownups,” Betsy looked up at Eric, “Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true.”

“It’s not Betsy’s fault if you’re a pervert,” Fez chimed in.

“You’re one to talk.”

“Hey, at least I’ve never tried to do it while there was a baby in the room!”

“He’s got a point,” Hyde conceded.

“So, I’m worse than Fez?”

“Nah, he’s still the king,” Fez looked reassured and Hyde kept talking. “Forman, I’ve held this baby for only a couple of seconds, and Jackie is already brawling with some of Kelso’s relatives just so she can bring me food. Babies are a powerful tool.”

“You’re right, Jackie hates buffets and people at buffets.” Eric paused for a moment and then he stood upright, “Hand her over.”

Fez sprinted to stand between Eric and Hyde, “No, I need the help more than Eric, he already has a girlfriend!”

“Relax, you guys can have her when she starts stinking.”

Jackie returned with a disgruntled Donna, “Did you really need to use me as a human shield?”

“I’m sorry Donna, but the Kelsos are giants and I did what I had to do.” Jackie was carrying a paper plate with some cookies and a slice of pie. “Steven, I got your favorites!” She leaned on the wall next to him and she started feeding him, careful not to get crumbs on the baby.

“Did you get something for me too?” Eric asked hopeful, his eyes on Donna’s plate.

“No, they didn’t have anything for baby-hating jerks.” Eric slumped his shoulders.

Hyde sniffed the air, “I think Betsy’s taking a crap, here you go Forman.” He handed her over to his friend, who nodded in gratitude.

“Can I have a cookie now?” Eric looked at Donna and pointed at the baby laying her head on his chest.

“Fine,” Donna rolled her eyes and smiled.

Kitty came running across the room to gawk at her baby and the baby he was holding, she smiled and clapped in excitement.

Hyde’s arms were finally free and he looped one of them around Jackie’s waist.

***

After the reception everyone said their goodbyes, despite knowing that they were all going to meet up again in the basement. Hyde and Jackie got into the El Camino, took her shoes off and her hands reached immediately for the glove compartment.

“Stop right there, you’re not picking the music again.”

“Fine, we’ll just listen to the radio.” She smiled at him.

“The rock station,” He gave Jackie a side glance.

“Great,” She nodded and turned on the radio.

“You’re not being pushy and you seem cheerful, what’s wrong? What did those bastards at the church do to you?”

She rolled her eyes, “I just had a good day. She might be a bit handsy, but Betsy is such a cute baby!”

Hyde nodded, his eyes on the road, and she kept talking. “I’m going to buy her so much cute stuff, but I have to do it fast.”

“Why? She’s a baby, she’s not going anywhere.”

“Sure, she’s small and cute now, but she is Michael and Brooke’s child. Before we know it, she’s going to be freakishly tall like them.” She sighed, “Maybe she’s going to end up dressing like Donna, I have to make the best of the time we have.”

Hyde chuckled, “I’m sure you have at least ten more years before she becomes taller than you.”

“Hopefully that’s enough time to teach her how to dress properly.” Her eyes fell on Steven’s face, “You know what? Our babies would be even cuter than Betsy.”

Hyde scoffed.

“I’m serious, imagine a baby with your eyes and my perfectly proportioned face.” She put her hand on his arm, “All the other babies would be so envious!”

Hyde gripped the steering wheel, “Jackie, I can barely take care of myself, we’re not having a kid just so you can get a doll to play with.”

Jackie looked hurt and she pulled away from him, leaning against the window. “I didn’t say that we should have a baby right now, you’re being a jerk.”

“Can we just drop the subject?”

Jackie nodded and she stopped talking, leaving the two in an uncomfortable silence. Hyde turned up the radio, The Doobie Brothers were playing.

_Before you leave me, leave me far behind_

_Please let me be happy one more time_

They drove in silence all the way to Point Place, both afraid to disrupt the quiet.

“Can you drop me off at my house?”

“You’re not coming by the basement?”

“No, I’m tired and I have school tomorrow.”

Hyde nodded and he took the turn to her house, he stopped in her driveway and they sat there for a while. Jackie put her shoes back on and Steven looked at her.

“Thank you for the ride, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She avoided eye contact and she opened the passenger’s door.

“Wait,” He put his hand on hers and he moved closer to her. He cupped her face, he leaned in and they shared a tender kiss. “I love you,” he whispered on her lips.

She leaned her forehead against his, “I love you too.” She kissed him again. “Bye,” She slipped out of the car and Hyde was alone, cursing himself for always saying the worst possible thing. If he had just kept his mouth shut earlier, right now they’d be happily smoking in Forman’s basement. 

Jackie waved at him when she unlocked the front door and Hyde drove away from her house. Questions were littering his mind, why was he always a dick? How much longer was Jackie going to put up with him? He shook is head, ignorance is bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, your comments and feedback are always welcome! You can reach out to me on tumblr (@jackiesimp) and on twitter (@fruityidiot).  
> Sorry for the delay, this chapter took a bit longer to write because I was in one of those phases where I hate anything I write. I hope this was worth the wait. This chapter had some angst, because in my mind Jackie and Hyde both believe that their relationship is on borrowed time.  
> I hope you enjoyed, have a great day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the rights to That '70s Show or to any of the characters.

Jackie studied her reflection in the mirror, she thought she would feel different by now. She thought that graduating high school would be a turning point in her life. She was no longer be a child, she was supposed to be an adult, she should’ve had it all figured out by now, but she still felt the same exact way. She still didn’t know what the future had in store for her, she was scared and she missed her childhood.

Her eyes fell on her dresser, the invitations to her dinner party were all still there, no one was coming. She convinced herself that it didn’t matter, what’s one more night alone? She found her gaze in the mirror and she forced a smile on her lips. Anyone who cared about her was already here.

Her speakers were blasting _The Bitch Is Back_ by Elton John to fend off the silence that always haunted her house. Her outfit was laid out on her bed, she picked out an emerald green wrap dress with long wide sleeves and a plunging neckline. She decided to get ready anyway, she loved the ensemble way too much to let it go to waste, and if the others didn’t get to see how gorgeous she looked, then it was their loss.

After getting dressed, she started working on her hair, making sure that every curl fell perfectly on her shoulders. At 6:13PM she was done and Elton John’s record was still spinning on the turntable. All she could do now was freshen her make-up, look at herself for a couple of minutes, and then take it all off. She hummed along to the song and she started fixing her eyeliner, until a sound startled her and her hand slipped. She muttered a curse and quickly tried to fix the mistake with her finger, she heard the sound again. Someone was throwing rocks at her window. She didn’t get her hopes up, it was probably some of the annoying kids that lived in her neighborhood, but she went to check anyway.

“Steven?” Their eyes met for less than a second and she was already rushing down the stairs to open the front door. “What are you doing here?” Her body blocked the entrance.

“What do you mean what am I doing here? You said I had to show up and I did.” She couldn’t see it clearly behind his sunglasses, but she sensed that he was rolling his eyes.

“Well, you’re late.” She was determined to stand her ground, he couldn’t make her feel like crap and then waltz in as if nothing happened.

“No, I’m not. I’ve been ringing the doorbell for fifteen minutes, but Elton John was screeching in your bedroom and you didn’t hear me.” Jackie looked down, trying to conceal her expression, was it relief or was it anger that she was feeling? She didn’t know. “Can I come in now?”

She moved from the doorway and she was no longer home alone. She noticed that he was carrying flowers and she gave him a questioning look.

“I got them on the way here, I figured you’d like them.” He held out the bouquet and she took it with a smile on her face.

“Thank you, Steven,” She kissed his cheek and studied the composition, violets and pink lilies.

“Did I pick the wrong flower or something?” He scratched the back of his neck.

“No, they’re perfect,” She kissed him tenderly and she rushed to the kitchen to find a vase.

Hyde followed her to the kitchen, where untouched trays of food littered the counter space. “Where did all this come from?”

“The caterer,” She replied dryly while she put water in an ornate ceramic vase, “I ordered for six, so as God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!” She gestured dramatically.

Steven gave her an apologetic nod and he went silent, trying not to mention their friends’ noticeable absence.

She eyed the dimly lit dining room, “Crap, I didn’t set the table.” She shuffled around the drawers to find a tablecloth.

She found it and Hyde took it from her hands. “There’s no need to do that,” He took a bottle of champagne from the fridge and two glasses, “Just take one of the trays and let’s go outside.”

Jackie did as she was told and followed Steven to the garden, he spread out the fabric on the grass and he gestured for her to sit down.

“We’re having a picnic?” Her eyes became brighter, he nodded and joined her on the ground.

Sitting on the grass next to Steven, she felt lighter than she had in days. She tilted her head back and looked up. The sun was almost gone and the sky had taken a pinkish hue.

“You look… wow,” His eyes kept studying her figure stretched across the blanket like a Venus.

“I know,” Her features were soft, the disappointment from earlier had dissolved. One of his hands instinctively reached to caress her cheek and she leaned into his touch. She took off his sunglasses and now her eyes were fixed on his, inviting him to come closer. His lips brushed against hers while he moved so that he was now hovering directly over her. She bridged the gap between them, moving slowly at first. His hand travelled along her curves, his touch was light and tender, like he was handling something fragile. Her body responded as if he was exploring her for the very first time, but he knew exactly what he was doing.

Her tongue parted his lips, one of her hands was tangled in his hair and the other one was on his lower back and making its way to his butt. Steven’s movements mirrored hers and their kiss became ravenous, soft moans escaped her lips and the bulge in his pants grew. His lips left hers and they started leaving a blazing trail along her skin, on her cheek, her temple, her earlobe, her jawline, her neck and the exposed skin between her breasts. He whispered her name on her skin, her moans became louder and her skin felt like it was on fire. Her head started spinning, she was mad at him just minutes earlier and now they were doing foreplay in her backyard.

Jackie pulled away with a gasp. “We should eat,” she blurted out and sat upright creating some distance between her and Steven. He nodded, lust still glazed his eyes as she slipped away from under him. She scooted over to the tray of food that lay forgotten on the other end of the blanket. “Oh, this should be tasty, you like salmon, right? Because I had salmon tarts made.” She was rambling on, still flushed, “I read they’re great for social gatherings, they’re clean and classy. If you don’t like salmon, there’s plenty of food inside, there are deviled egg and—”

“If it’s edible, I’ll eat it,” he cut her off, “but first we have to toast.” He handed her the bottle and she started opening it, asking for Steven’s help when her manicure was in danger of getting scratched, finally the bottle opened with a loud pop and she filled the glasses.

Jackie raised her champagne flute, “To me, to my bright future— no, _our_ bright future, and to beautiful nights like this one.” She smiled at him warmly and he kissed her cheek.

They clinked glasses, and Steven smiled too, “What you said.” Jackie rolled her eyes and drank her champagne.

***

“Steven, you’re a pig!” Jackie looked at the empty tray beside him, “You ate all that and now you want cake too?”

He shrugged, “The cake is just sitting in the fridge, and it would be rude not to stay for dessert.”

“Don’t use good manners against me!” She scoffed, “Fine, we can have cake, but you have to wait until I get hungry again. Deal?”

“Cool,” He nodded. She smiled at him and laid down on the blanket, the sky was navy blue and the moon was hiding somewhere behind the tall cypresses. He joined her on the ground and a joint materialized between his fingers, “Wanna light up?”

She nodded, her eyes falling to his lips and the blunt between them, she let him take a hit before taking it from him. “Where do you think we’re going to be one year from now?” The words fell out of her before she could stop them.

He paused. “I don’t know. Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing next week, but I’m here now.” His eyes weren’t shielded by his sunglasses, but he still knew how to hide from her, “Why do you ask? Planning a big trip?”

She let out a huff, “No reason, I was just wondering.” Her gaze followed the outline of his profile, looking for a sing that wasn’t there. Maybe the slight twitch of his lips meant that he loved her and that they were going to be together forever, or maybe it just meant that she was tired and high and delusional.

He took the joint from her lips and took a hit. She placed a hand on his chest and her manicured finger started drawing a trail from his heart to his chin, and then she nudged him to turn towards her. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

“I just wanted to look at you,” She placed her finger in the dimple of his chin with a small smile.

The confusion was still apparent on his face, he took her hand from his face and placed it in his own palm with a squeeze. “Are you alright?”

“Of course I am!” She smiled, but it was the kind of smile that didn’t reach her eyes, the kind that he’d been getting more and more of these days. She tucked her head under his chin and she placed their joined hands on his stomach.

He let out another huff, careful to blow it away from her hair. “You looked surprised when I showed up, did you really think I wasn’t going to come?”

He was met by silence, Jackie focused on fidgeting with his rings instead of answering. He gave her a nudge and she let out a sigh.

“You said you weren’t going to come.” She shook her head, “Not just that, you said that tonight would be boring and stupid, and when everyone turned down my invitation you still kept being a dick.”

“I was just joking.”

“How was I supposed to know that? It wouldn’t have been the first time you bailed on me.” Her voice was flat and her fingernail was still running along the edge of one of his rings. “Can we just stop talking about this? I don’t want to fight tonight, we’re supposed to be celebrating.” She looked up at him, “Pass me the joint, I’m almost ready to have cake.”

An apology was trapped on his lips, _I’m sorry_ , he knew how to say the words but doing it was much more difficult. When he opened his mouth again, only another cloud of smoke came out. He handed her the cigarette.

She settled back in the nook of his neck. Words unsaid were left hanging in the air, silence was always easier for them, and Jackie still didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. Their hands were still clasped together, his fingers caressing her knuckles and now the moon was looking over them. Jackie closed her eyes and hoped they would still be like this one year from now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the angst! But I only have a couple months left of teen angst and I need to make the most of it, so I hope you don't mind. I'm also sorry it took me this long to post a new chapter, but I just started university and I have terrible time management skills.  
> This chapter was a weird one to write, but I still hope you enjoyed it. All feedback is welcomed and appreciated!  
> If you want to bully me into writing the next chapter faster, you can find me on tumblr @jackiesimp. I hope you have a wonderful day!

**Author's Note:**

> They way Jackie and Hyde got back together in season 7 always bothered me because it didn't fix any of their issues, so here we are!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, I would greatly appreciate you comments. Feel free to bully me into writing more! I'm @fruityidiot on twitter and @jackiesimp on tumblr.


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